last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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