Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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