k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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