Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
