hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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