Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
