just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
