how can u be prego again
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
