Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
