i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
