yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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