What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
