hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
