Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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