I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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