There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize