I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
