Already got asked if we're dating
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
