my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
