he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
