i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
