Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
