I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
