Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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