rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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