Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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