I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
