the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
