I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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