Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
