some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
