look no pants
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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