He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
