Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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