Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
