I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
