is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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