k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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