I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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