I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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