Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
