found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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