I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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