I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I fill condoms, not promises.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
