I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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