How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
