so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
