1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
