I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
