...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
