You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
