oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The power of my boobs compel you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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