is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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