whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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